In the beginning there was a Facebook ad and the ad said I could retrain and work to build my own business. It said mums like me were working from home, around the school run, looking after businesses’ social media accounts. And I loved the idea. And I wanted to do it. And I started to immerse myself in social media in a way I had never thought of before. Suddenly rather than wasting time scrolling through Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest I was learning. I was researching. In fact much of my year has been spent learning about social media. How it works. How it can work. How business and organisations can use it to great advantage.
Now training with Digital Mums starts in a matter of days and despite seeing the advert 12 months ago, making contact nine months ago and signing up six months ago it would appear I am still not ready. I am still teetering on the edge of being ready. I am all set to talk myself out of this ridiculous idea that I could re-train, set up my own business and make some useful money for our family while still being at home and looking after three children.
As it is I am typing this with Mini Cooper 3 pulling out the power cable to the laptop, hooking her fingers around the keyboard and deleting as fast as I type, and two chimpanzee small boys in the background leaping around while some inane cartoon blares out of the TV. What am I thinking? I daren’t even consider the professional side of this. The side that says ‘drop being mummy for an hour and create something someone wants to pay you for. Yes, it has to be worth paying for, so get your brain together and find work and create and sell and…’ * small brain explosion*
And anyway, this is so much more than study. This is where study gets real. As part of the course Digital Mums will pair me with a real-life-proper-bona-fide company that I will work with throughout my training. *mic drop* Suddenly study just got real. This is no longer about picking something I enjoy and trying to get a certificate. It isn’t about seeing how much I can learn in a short space of time or writing an essay just because I feel the need. This is more. This is re-training. This is having others rely on me to make a difference to their business and my family relying on me to bring in some money. And it matters. It matters oh so much to all of us.
Learning how to fly…
In fact it matters so much that in order to do this I have to forget about that. I have to take all the information I am being given and nurture it. I need to grow this creative baby and pour my heart and soul into it. I need to make it one of my own and do it in a way only I can because I want to do it and not because I need it to be great.
Ever since I spotted the (very cleverly targeted) Facebook ad I have been drawn to doing this. The year-long wait has only heightened my anticipation. When I look back over the last 12 months I am amazed and really quite proud of the changes we have made. This time last year the family finances were firmly at DH’s feet. Along with a whole heap of stress, no time for the family and a working schedule that would make (and did make) grown men weep. We needed to take back control. So with some savings, a lot of courage and a lot of love we made the leap. We both decided to retrain. Now, at the beginning of January 2018, DH has just completed a 12-week immersive coding course and here I am ready to take on the social media world.
…or how to fall with style…
Over the last 12 months my brain has leapt in and out of overdrive. Trying to work out where this Grand Plan is taking us. Trying to minimise the little voices that pop up every so often saying we are foolish, ignorant, not thinking straight and just plain crazy. And then the idea that we really could change everything. That we really could earn money doing things that we love and do that while looking after our children, between us, together. The adrenaline pumps and I just have to see if we can reach that goal. The brain keeps whirring. The idea keeps strumming. The buzz of life keeps humming and no matter how exhausted I am, the excitement of that potential new reality keeps me going.
Most of the time I feel like I am on a tightrope. I am focusing on putting one foot in front of the other and keeping myself upright. Keeping myself on track. I am fuelled by copious amounts of tea, way too many biscuits and a massive dose of positive mental attitude. The latter of which I didn’t really know I had in me until we started all this. And it is still new. It is a different world. So despite my anxieties and my fears of being found out (that actually I am not very good at this and I haven’t a clue what I am doing) I have to keep going. I have to know where this leads. After all; I could fall, but what if I fly? And if I don’t fly, well I intend to fall – with style.
*Here are some other posts I have written about joining Digital Mums and their campaign for more flexible working options…
Digital Mum to be
Why I can’t wait to get f******* working